Posted August 22, 2009 at 10:23pm
I hope at least one of them is "Mom"
Ha, joke’s on them! They’re going to look so stupid once their scales start sagging…
Posted August 16, 2009 at 11:41pm
“I got your death panel right here!”
Posted July 26, 2009 at 11:28pm
Becoming that which I hate.
Some questions:
(1) Are you a “fan” of my inane nonsense but wish I would use fewer words?
(2) Are you a “fan” of my inane nonsense but wish I would use fewer words and display a blatant disregard for grammatical rules and structure?
(3) Are you a “fan” of my inane nonsense but wish I would use fewer words and display a blatant disregard for grammatical rules and structure, while preceding my nonsense with “RT@”?
Well then! This is your day. I may be starting a Twitter!
Is it worth it?
Damned architects and their lack of creativity.
I cannot impress upon you how disappointed I am that the home wasn’t shaped like a giant vagina.
Posted July 18, 2009 at 2:02am
"That you need a date" is not an acceptable answer.
You guys, what does it say about me that I find this totally attractive?
Posted July 15, 2009 at 1:12am
Way too insidery.
Aw, man. Something tells me that of all the recent celebrity deaths, this one is going to hurt Balk the most.
Posted July 8, 2009 at 2:19am
Out of the office and into my car.
In a nutshell, the difference between the sexes:
Man: I’m going to walk to my car and go home
Woman: Ohmigod, I’m going to get raped. Why are there no other cars here? Oh my christ, I’m going to die.
We're just saying what you're thinking.
Friend: it’s like Al Qaeda has targeted our celebs!
Friend: It’s like 9/11 all over again
Me: I WOULD SAY IT’S WORSE
Friend: it is worse
Posted June 28, 2009 at 11:51pm
Also, I spent the rest of the evening doing the WORST Cockney accent you've ever heard.
You should watch it. It expires in a week.
And I know I’ve said it before, but I fucking love Jonathan Glazer.
No, no, no, no, no! (Warning: Clip contains graphic language and violence from a magnificent film)
It says a lot that I went to a bloody theatre to see this film when it was released. That’s significant because unless we’re dating and I want to seem like the world’s best girlfriend? I do not see films in the theatre. You know, what with the loud folks and the fatties and the loud fatties.
I couldn’t wait for its theatrical release, I was that big of a Jonathan Glazer fan. But, says my imaginary reader, this was his first film. How could you be a fan? Ah, gentle imaginary reader, I was a fan of his music videos, which were some of the best I’ve seen.
So yes, watch it on Hulu or rent it. Ben Kingsley is brilliant in it, so much so that Jim Broadbent winning the Best Supporting Oscar that year is on a par with Rocky winning over Taxi Driver.
Oh, and Glazer’s second film, Birth, singlehandedly changed my mind about Nicole Kidman as an actress. I still find her forehead creepy, though.
It’s pretty common knowledge that The-Dream wrote “Umbrella”, which ultimately ended up propelling Rihanna to where she is now. But what isn’t common knowledge is that his demo version of the song is THE SICKNESS. Take a listen.
He’s right. So much better.
Rihanna is a laughably bad singer, but her eyes sure are purdy, huh? And that’s a good enough reason to give her a record deal, right?
